18 December 2014

I rarely write on my diary because of some moments are too painful to be writen. I am afraid if I re-read it again someday, the negative memories will appear in my mind. This is just too much. I want to forget it.

But what happened couple weeks ago still lingers here. I can't deny. I still don't understand why you did that. What's on your mind? Why are you so defensive everytime I ask about it? You had a chance but why you didn't use it? Don't you think about my feelings when you did that? I know I am so much overthinking or being paranoid in some times. But apparently it makes you think that every complain from me reflects my irrational thoughts. But I am not brainless and you are not one hundred percent right.

It makes me sad. I keep thinking about it. And my heart is racing.

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